Practical tips for maintaining connections during challenging times & how yoga can help you.
Recently, I was Diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease
Hashimoto's is an autoimmune condition where the immune system mistakenly attacks the thyroid, leading to fatigue, brain fog, and unpredictable energy levels. It’s the kind of condition that sneaks up on you - one day, you’re managing fine, and the next, even simple tasks feel exhausting. Needless to say, as a mother, it's often impossible to take a break and respond to exhaustion accordingly. It is overwhelming and I'm still finding my balance, and will probably do so for months.
For many mothers, this kind of overwhelm is always there, waiting in the corner of the room, ready to lash out. And it isn’t just physical. The mental load of parenting, combined with stress (at work) or illness, can make it hard to navigate everyday life.
For me, it's hard to stay connected with friends due to my condition. I sometimes feel guilty for not reaching out or frustrated that others don’t seem to understand how much I'm struggling.
That got me wondering: How could we navigate these relationships with care and understanding - whether you're the one feeling overwhelmed or the one trying to support? And how can yoga help?
Ahimsa: The Role of Compassion
In yoga philosophy, one of the most fundamental principles is Ahimsa, often translated as non-harming or compassion. While it’s commonly associated with avoiding physical harm, Ahimsa extends to our words, thoughts, and the way we treat ourselves and others.
When friendships are affected by stress, illness, or major life changes, compassion becomes essential - both for the person feeling overwhelmed and for the friend who wants to support them.
Here are some thoughts on both situations:
If You’re the Overwhelmed Friend
Practice Ahimsa toward yourself first. It’s okay to need rest, set boundaries, and acknowledge that you don’t have the energy to maintain friendships the way you used to. Let go of guilt. I repeat: Let go. True friendships don’t require constant effort; they thrive on mutual understanding. Even a small message - “I miss you, but I’m in a tough season right now” - can keep the connection open while honoring your limits.
If You’re the Supportive Friend
Ahimsa reminds us to meet others with understanding rather than frustration. If your friend has withdrawn, try not to take it personally. Instead of expecting a reply or pushing for connection, offer small acts of kindness without attachment - a check-in message, a photo, a reminder that you’re thinking of them. Sometimes, knowing they don’t have to explain their absence is the greatest gift you can give.
When both friends embody Ahimsa, relationships can withstand even the most challenging seasons. Compassion softens misunderstandings, eases guilt, and allows connection to remain - no matter how much time has passed.
5 Ways to Support an Overwhelmed Friend (or Yourself!)
1. Let Them Hear from You
When someone is struggling with illness or stress, reaching out can feel overwhelming. They may not know what to say or worry about being a burden.
As a friend, you might hesitate too—wondering if it’s the right time or what to say. But even a simple message, a voice note, or a thoughtful card can brighten their day. They may not always reply, but knowing someone cares without expecting anything in return can be deeply reassuring.
2. Ask the Right Questions
The usual “How are you?” can be difficult for someone who has been struggling long-term. It forces them to either mask their feelings or repeat the same hard truth: “It’s still not great.”
Instead, try: 💬 “What’s on your mind today?” 💬 “Is there anything small that would make your day easier?”
These open-ended questions allow for honesty without pressure.
3. Be Aware of Your Judgments
It’s easy to assume that someone’s situation isn’t as bad as it seems, especially if they have good days or moments of energy. Chronic illness, stress, and burnout are unpredictable.
Try not to measure their struggles by what you see. Instead of thinking, “They went for a walk, so they must be fine,” recognize that appearances don’t always reflect reality. Your support doesn’t require full understanding—just trust and compassion.
4. Be Mindful with Advice
When we care about someone, we want to help. It’s natural to offer suggestions, but remember that people experiencing long-term struggles have likely already tried everything. Unsolicited advice can sometimes feel dismissive.
If you do want to share something, try framing it gently: 💬 “I don’t know if this will help you, but I heard about…” instead of “You should try…”
This leaves space for them to engage without pressure.
5. Share What You Feel
Friendships thrive on mutual exchange. If you’re feeling disconnected, it’s okay to share that. Instead of silently pulling away, try saying:
💬 “I miss you, and I know things are hard. I’m here when you need me.”
And if you’re the one who’s struggling, you don’t have to pretend everything is okay. A simple, “I don’t have the energy to talk much, but I appreciate you checking in,” can keep the door open without overextending yourself.
Relationships Can Ebb and Flow - And That’s Okay
Life is full of shifting seasons, and friendships evolve along with them. If you or someone you love is in a difficult chapter, remember that connection isn’t measured by constant communication. It’s built on understanding, presence, and the small ways we show up for each other - no matter how much time has passed.
By practicing Ahimsa - compassion for yourself and others - you allow friendships to breathe, change, and remain strong even through the hardest seasons.
